Back to the Beginning
by Yemam2422
Summary: DL. A look back at Danny and Lindsay's relationship through their milestone moments.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** My first attempt at a more 'artsy' style of writing, done in Danny's point of view. Also unbeta'd so please forgive any mistakes.

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"_Make sure you call him Sir."_  
First impressions were lasting and the new girl surprised him. He'd planned on not liking her but was immediately and defiantly intrigued. So he'd played a joke to clearly and quickly define their roles. He was the New Yorker, living and breathing the city. She was from a different world, an outsider.

"_Montana"_  
He'd said it to tease her. Because it made her flush with annoyance. Why he found that look to suit her so well and why it made him want to see it again and again, he didn't know.

"_Waiting on you."  
_He wavered between wanting to solve the case as quickly as possible and hating her finishing first. But he was learning to trust her. She was a good CSI, better than he gave her credit for.

"_You think I haven't seen blood like that before?"  
"I don't know to tell you the truth. Have you?"_  
Occasionally he wondered about where she came from, who she'd left behind. What brought her to New York? What caused that sadness to ever so briefly cloud her eyes before she quickly blinked it away?

"_Footage from your thirtieth birthday Messer?"_  
They'd moved from unsure and cautious to comfortable and teasing. It didn't matter that his blood stirred at the fact that she knew when his birthday was.

"_Perfect fit."_  
He must be overworked. How else could he explain why a simple touch of her hand travelled all the way from his fingertips into the pit of his stomach. Or why he held it for a second too long. But he was not attracted to her in the least. She was far from his type, he reminded himself.

"_Well hello Miss Monroe."_  
She'd made it almost all the way down the track before he lifted his head, did a double-take. Before his heart gave one jerky beat that warned him he might be in trouble.

"_Maybe you don't know him as well as you think."_  
He fought off a small wave of disappointment, told himself it was better this way. Better that she'd invited him to Cozy's to prove a point, nothing more. And she'd been right. He didn't know her as well as he thought.

"_What was I thinking, betting against a country girl?"  
_How many excuses could he come up with to be around her? Picking up her lab results. Bringing in an exotic meal for the whole team, but really with only her in mind. At least all his ideas worked.

"_I'm not going to give you anything if you don't get going. Make tracks cowboy."_  
He would have done a lot more than carry her across a roof top and for a lot less as long as it meant being with her. But he would never say that.

_"Are you participating in this investigation or is this just a forensic peepshow?"_  
He wished to God she didn't smell so good. It was distracting. He did his best to keep his distance but he couldn't help but get his daily fix of her, followed by a mental reminder that she was anything but his type. The fact that he occasionally wondered what she would taste like was, in his opinion, pure male reflex.

"_Does it turn you on?"_  
She was keeping him up at night. Questions like that did not help. Not just the picture of her in that sexy green dress, though that image popped into his mind with annoying regularity. Her intelligence. The determined look in her eyes when she was deep into a case. The little smirk when their perp was nailed. It was becoming torture.

"_I might ask you to marry me."_  
He wasn't looking for a relationship. He liked his absolute freedom. Women, a wife in particular, could wait. But he'd be damned if the way she spouted football stats didn't make him think she just might be the perfect woman. If he believed in such a thing. Which he didn't.

"_Did you tell anyone else about this?"  
"No. Just you."_  
His brush with the Tanglewood Boys and his badly beaten brother had opened him up to emotions he'd kept buried. They were all boiling at the surface now but maybe, just maybe, after this whole mess was over he'd think some more about the way she'd trusted him. The way she made him feel like everything would be okay.

_"Maybe you should just handle this case by yourself, okay?"_  
It amazed him how protective he was of her, how much it bothered him to see her upset. Evidence. That's what their job was all about it and he was beginning to find piece after piece that led him to believe there was something more happening between them than just friends.

_"You see a view like this? Beats the wheatfields, no?"_  
He wanted her to like New York. Really like it. To stay forever.

"_You still want that ride?"_  
When he dropped her off that night the city streets were strangely empty and he'd go home to an apartment that felt even emptier. Why had that never bothered him before?

"_What do you think you're doing?"_  
He'd wanted to say more than he had but the next thing he knew he was pulling her to him, steadying himself as much as her through the noise and smoky haze. He held her close. Close enough to see the fascinating gold specks in her chocolate brown eyes. Pressure built inside him, a pressure he knew wouldn't release until he had more.

"_I like you a lot."_  
He wasn't in the habit of pursuing women who stood him up or sent mixed signals. He should have shrugged it off and moved on to something – someone- uncomplicated. But he was having trouble doing that. Deep down he really didn't want to.

"_I'm not good at long good byes. Or short ones for that matter."_  
He wasn't longing. He was simply worried about a friend. Two entirely different things. If he was longing then he would constantly reread her card. Which he'd only done once or twice…a day. He'd distract himself with double shifts. He would lose his appetite and toss and turn at night. None of those were true for him. At least mostly. He did think about her. A lot. Almost all the time. But he ate and slept regularly. Usually.

"_Go with your instincts."_  
If he took a moment to analyze the situation like he would a case he could have taken their history as a sign to slow down, carefully deliberate what he was considering. But he was an act first, think later type of guy. There were no words when he saw her next. Just hesitant, hopeful looks across the courtroom, clasped hands, a shoulder to lean on, an almost kiss. He was right to trust his instincts.

"_We're more than beer and buffalo burgers, Messer."_  
He'd eaten that buffalo burger because she'd bet him he wouldn't. Because he wanted to share in the enjoyment she took from eating at her favorite hometown diner. From her nightmare finally being over. From the possibilities now being endless.

"_I'm glad this happened."_  
Finally. Heat and passion, taste and textures all mixed together. He savored her, moment by moment, inch by inch as if he'd been starving for her.

"_Boom."_  
His trademark phrase coming from her lips made him smirk. Warmed him in a way that confused him.

_"He was lucky, you know. To have you down there with him."  
_He'd brushed off her remark. The look on her face had been wide-eyed and earnest when she'd said it. She looked at him the way a woman looks at a man she finds fascinating, that she cares about. At those moments, when she looked at him like that, he got just a little bit nervous.

"_The Batmobile is better than Speedracer's Mach 5. End of story."  
_Usually when he fell for a woman it was fast and hot. But with her it had started as a nagging tug, a pull that drew him from basic attraction into unexplored territory. But he was enjoying the ride, even if it was with someone who preferred the Mach 5.

_"Lindsay, forget that guy, alright?"_  
She didn't need to say anything. He knew the family lying face down in their blood, the little girl in the hospital, the other one in the suitcase made her think of her dead friends. Her face revealed it all to him. That's how well they knew each other now. And he was there for her. Always would be.

"_Could have gone straight through the love handles."_  
She was such a wiseass. But that was his favorite thing about her. Or maybe it was the way her country roots still came through in the cutest ways. Or the way she'd surprise him in his apartment at the end of a long day. Wearing only his t-shirt. His favorite things were starting to add up.

"_Because I've fallen in love with you and I have to figure out how to let that go."_  
When had he become such a coward? He was letting her go, hurting her, because he was afraid she wouldn't want him, couldn't want him, when she saw him for the flawed person he really was. But he'd been too reckless, too selfish, to recognize that she would have been right there for him. After all, they were both only human, both scarred in their own ways. But that realization was too little, too late.

"_Because I miss you. I miss you more than I can say, even if I don't know how to say it."_  
He couldn't deny it any longer. Couldn't deny what had happened. It probably happened that first day. When she stood there next to a tranquilized tiger or when she whipped out her army knife from her back pocket as if it was completely normal. How could he not fall in love with a woman like that? Now he just had to get his tongue around those words and tell her.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Same premise as the first chapter except in Lindsay's POV this time. Thanks for reading!

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"_Make sure you call him Sir."  
_His voice was deep but soft, slightly raspy. His accent was sharp, much like his attitude apparently. New York was nothing like she had expected and everything she could have hoped for. Her new partner, on the other hand, left much to be desired.

"_Montana"  
_Did he really just call her that? But she couldn't get too upset. Not with the devilish sparkle in his eyes and hint of a smile that softened his features as he'd said it.

"_Waiting on you."  
_He had yet to demonstrate that her initial opinion of him had been wrong. He was too cocky for his own good. But she could handle it. He would not get the best of her.

"_You think I haven't seen blood like that before?"  
_It was irritating how he got under her skin the way he did but she did her best to hide her annoyance. She didn't want to talk about herself, didn't want to put into words for him her deep dark secrets. He would never understand.

"_Footage from your thirtieth birthday Messer?"  
_It seemed the only common ground between them was their work. So she'd focus on their cases and deal with his ridiculous nickname for her. And she'd throw in some harmless teasing of her own too.

"_Perfect fit."_  
He held her hand for a simple demonstration. That much was clear. The reason a heat worked its way through her, the reason her body got all warm and toasty in a way it had no business doing, the reason butterflies fluttered in her stomach. That was less easily explained.

"_Well hello Miss Monroe."  
_A schoolgirl giddiness curled inside her at the pleasant surprise in his expression. At the way she felt his gaze roam over her from head to toe. But she told herself it was nothing. A big fat lie.

"_Maybe you don't know him as well as you think."  
_She wondered what he thought about her invitation for drinks. What did she have in mind anyway? An innocent 'I told you so'? Something more? Alarm bells rang in her head that she second guessed her own answer, even for just a split second.

"_What was I thinking, betting against a country girl?"  
_Of course he saw her as a country girl. When she described him to her family and friends back home she called him a 'typical city boy.' They would always say something about opposites attracting, which she immediately dismissed. He wasn't her type she would reply, her retort said wholeheartedly but reluctantly believed in.

"_I'm not going to give you anything if you don't get going. Make tracks cowboy."  
_In her job, there was a science to everything. Pheromones. The chemical that triggers sexual reactions. That was the science behind this moment, with his mouth only inches from hers, his arms wrapped around her. She forced her expression into one she hoped was normal and unruffled and reminded herself about simple science.

"_Are you participating in this investigation or is this just a forensic peepshow?"  
_Was he flirting? In spite of herself she giggled.

"_Does it turn you on?"_  
Suddenly their casual exchange took a different tone. And he hadn't answered her question. If she didn't know better she would have sworn she had made him nervous. And that made her smile. And her stomach hit her toes.

"_I might ask you to marry me."_  
She hated the way her heart jumped at his casual comment. Him, her and weddings didn't belong together in the same thought.

"_Did you tell anyone else about this?"  
"No. Just you."_  
So he had dark secrets hidden in his past too. She could understand that. Maybe one day he would talk to her about it. Maybe one day she would tell him about her own.

"_Maybe you should just handle this case by yourself, okay?"_  
He had been different - sensitive, caring, protective. She kept mulling over his honesty, how easy he was to be around, his willingness to help her. He was no longer just her partner. He was a friend.

"_You see a view like this? Beats the wheat fields, no?"  
_She couldn't imagine herself in any other city, wheat fields or not. Just like she couldn't help the way he moved in and out of her mind all day, every day.

"_You still want that ride?"  
_There was something about him, something that went beyond the New York attitude and easy smile. Something that intrigued her in a way that was so vague and fluid she couldn't put a name to it. She would have to be careful . Very careful.

"_What do you think you're doing?"  
_His voice was sharper than usual, his eyes panicked in a way she'd never seen before. She assured him she was fine even though she was frightened. Later, even amid the smoke and noise, she felt how perfectly they fit against each other. And this time wasn't lying when she said she was okay.

"_I like you a lot."  
_She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath until she was halfway down the hall. Walking away from him. He seemed so disappointed – and heartbroken? – that her heart literally stopped when she looked at him. But she could only hope that she'd done the right thing.

"_I'm not good at long good byes. Or short ones for that matter."  
_What if this wasn't the end? What if she went to Montana and her nightmare wasn't over? The thought was too much to stomach. She was barely holding herself together and until she felt solid again she couldn't say all the things she wanted to. Not to him. Not yet. She just needed a little more time.

"_Go with your instincts."_  
She would never know what he said to convince himself to take the trip to Montana. But whatever it was she was grateful. He must be able to hypnotize her or read her mind. Because he knew she needed him. And he had come.

"_We're more than beer and buffalo burgers, Messer."  
_She'd prayed for a time when she could rid her mind and body of the riot of emotions holding her back. For life to be simple again. For her relationship with him to make sense. For her to be completely at ease with him. Finally her prayers were answered.

"_I'm glad this happened."_  
With his words, she felt the bond between them grow even tighter.

"_Boom."_  
When he said it, it was simply a trademark quip. When she said it, she was unknowingly expressing how she'd embraced everything she'd learned from him. Everything he'd shared with her.

"_He was lucky, you know. To have you down there with him."  
_She knew he wasn't overly sentimental so she wasn't sure what had come over her. But she had to let him know that he was a hero. Her hero.

"_The Batmobile is better than Speedracer's Mach 5. End of story."  
_Not everyone knew that he was a crime fighter by day and comic book junkie by night. But she did. She was learning that he was full of surprises.

"_Lindsay, forget that guy, alright?"  
_He made her feel safe. He made her feel special. He made her feel beautiful. He pushed her. He believed her. Believed in her. He made her laugh. It was almost scary all the different ways he made her feel. Sometimes she thought she would drown in it all.

"_Could have gone straight through the love handles."  
_She would never walk by the museum again without thinking of him. Just like she would never look at a spider the same way. Or forget the science behind condom spray.

"_Because I've fallen in love with you and I have to figure out how to let that go."  
_Though they shared an office, they barely looked at each other anymore. There was a time when they could barely keep their eyes, or hands, off each other. And they had so much to talk about it was hard to get a word in edgewise. Now, everything was such a far cry from the way they used to be that she was purely, completely heartbroken.

"_Because I miss you. I miss you more than I can say, even if I don't know how to say it."  
_Why were they constantly moving in dizzying circles? First, they had been stuck in a murky middle ground of uncertainty until they reached a point of making a move or moving on. Now they seemed to be returning to that unsure grey area. Partners. Friends. Lovers. Soul mates. It was all blending together in a confusing definition of what they were. It was killing her. Especially when she wanted so much more. But maybe he did too.


End file.
